Well today, Mr. Jack Attack, is 6 months old...I can't believe how fast it has gone or how slow all the long, sleepless nights have been for us over 40 parents. Each day is filled with it's joys and challenges and I have never been so very grateful for a gift from God, than for our baby Jack. For so long, I felt so angry and directed this toward God and others, when in all reality, I was angry at myself. Misplaced emotion, I call it. And so much wasted time and energy...
The anger has receded and even the relief. Yes, there was so much relief, when I saw Jack, born @ 37 weeks, and he was healthy. I'm glad of who I have become because of this process. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't like walking through the fire. I resisted at every step. But, I have become the person that God saw would be the right person to be the mother of Jack. But the waiting was so agonizing.
So now, we're about the business of parenting Jack. He didn't come with a manual for an over-analyzing & sometimes controlling Mother. I'm sure there are more fires to walk through...maybe I'll remember faster next time (I really am a smart person, not as smart as RaRa, but almost)....there's value in the journey to your destination and hopefully, I won't waste so much time on misplaced emotion.
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