Flowers & Dark Rum

Another surprise-less & uneventful appointment yesterday...my platelet count went UP to 148K and all other labs/BP are holding steady. I see Dr. Tracy on Friday at 36 6/7 weeks...only 1 day before my goal date...YIPPEE!

Thanks for all the well wishes/emails/calls/prayers....I wish I could say something funny or catchy to make you chuckle. The fact is....look up the word misery in Mr. Webster and you will see my picture! But, as I have said many times before, this is temporary and soon I will be looking into Jack's eyes!

I did tell Mr. Tarheel that there will be no excuses because on every Mother's Day for the rest of my life, I am to be thanked with flowers! He agreed and then said that he would like to be thanked with a good bottle of dark rum! We laughed together, each imagining and almost understanding, for a moment, what the other person is going through.

Are We There Yet? 36 Weeks!

Good morning all you gestational trackers...I hear your shouts (that's holler, in the south) of joy from the east coast to the west coast because here we are.....Jack has made it to 36 WEEKS! Only 1 more week and he will officially not be a premature baby. So the answer to your question...the same question you asked your parents on the way to Grandma's house..."Are we there yet?"....the answer is no, but almost! I see the end and Mr. Tarheel & I are getting more & more excited....

I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Know I Can

Well, the seemingly longest pregnancy in recent history is still progressing...much to my happiness & amazement! Here's a summary of yesterday's appointment:

1. I have a new diagnosis: macrosomia or large for gestational age (LGA). Jack's estimated weight for 35 3/7 weeks is 7 lb 11oz. Wow! The accuracy is within 10-15%, so maybe it's a little lower:) Everything else on the ultrasound is "normal" and they checked again...he's still a boy! So high BP hasn't affected his growth...yippee. Don't worry, I'm not going to start smoking now to lower his birth weight a little!
2. Yes, I'm the puffiest patient around with weight gain to prove it. I'm scratching my head wondering how much can my body take....maintaining homeostasis must come at some price but my skin isn't splitting yet.
3. Platelets are dropping...now at 132K...down from 157k since Friday, but only down from 146K from a week ago. Next appointment/labs are Monday, 11/26 at 36 2/7 weeks. BP doing "OK" with some readings 160's/mid-90's but with rest, comes down to 150's/80's. Dr. Tracy said no more increase on BP med b/c at this point, it won't extend the pregnancy & we'll consider delivery at a platelet count of 100K. So yes, I'll have my suitcase with me on Monday for the appointment...
4. Sleep quality is deteriorating....Mr. Tarheel is now sleeping in the guest room and even Tucker has joined him. But he still wakes up to listen for my snoring and if he doesn't hear it, he comes in to check on me.

Thanks for all the calls, cards, and emails of support...it's very nice and encouraging. I know I can do it but it's so much easier with all the wonderful support!

Stable (Mentally & Physiologically) & 35 Weeks!

Yesterday's appointment with Dr. Tracy went off without a hitch...I have stable labs & we're hanging out at home until the next appointment on Tuesday. Yeee-Heee--35 weeks today! Here's me getting ready for the appointment as described by different aspects of my personality...

"Why are you packing your hospital bag, complete with the cameras?" asked Mr. Tarheel.

"You know to be ready, just in case, he's born today....you know the labs could change enough and get more out of the normal range (abnormal), so Jack has be born...SO PACK YOUR BAG TOO", comments OCD Tarheel as she is packing Jack's bag also....

"Yes, Jack could be making his debut through the uterine sun-roof anytime now...look how far we've come and how wonderful it will be to see him..." says Comedy Tarheel, with a big, happy smile on her face.

"I've pre-programmed all the upcoming UNC basketball games to be recorded, but hopefully, the only one we'll miss is the one against SC State that won't be on TV here." says #1 Fan Tarheel.

"Let's go...everything's going to be fine," says Mr. Tarheel, as I get it together...thanking God for a husband that does more listening than talking.

Tucker Says Hi to In-Utero Jack

Watchful Waiting

Today was a scheduled appointment with Dr. Tracy. I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks and she smiled and said, "We've made it, you're 34 weeks!" Boy, do I know what she's talking about, comparing the worst case scenerio to now. During the NST, I had a strong contraction but luckily, didn't feel a thing. The nurses were surprised. I laughed by myself when I said that I hope I never feel a contraction. There was much hoopla about my fluid retention/swelling/extreme weight gain. I'm passed justifying that I had only eaten ice cream once in the last 2 weeks! My feet were the main attraction...they were noted to be about the puffiest feet that they had seen in a long time. For some reason, this notoriety did not make me feel better.


Dr. Tracy said that everyone who has to come in wearing their slippers, must have a stat PIH panel done. She wanted me (with increased concern) to wait for the results, so I slowly walked over and rested in the NNP call room. It was nice to see some co-workers that I have missed over these last 3 months...I reassured them that I wouldn't deliver today b/c I had my camcorder and my camera with me (thanks, April, for the wonderful advice!). Being prepared wards off evil spirits in neonatal land....


The labs weren't all completely normal anymore (yes, that means some were abnormal or not in the normal range....). The platelets are falling and the uric acid is rising but the creatinine and liver enzymes are still normal. So Dr. Tracy said things like..."I'm concerned there's a change and we need to watch you more closely...". So I go back in on Friday afternoon to repeat the labs and NST. Mr. Tarheel will be able to go with me for this visit. I think I will pack my bag and have it in the car (you know, those pesky evil spirits)....hopefully, I can keep on trucking for a couple more weeks....I have my eyes set on Dec 1st--37 weeks!


I did have a moment of panic...I may only have a short time left to be pregnant. As bad as I feel sometimes....I have come to enjoy my long-awaited pregnancy...well, at least the good parts of it. Mostly, I have loved knowing that I am nurturing Jack and I love feeling his movements. I know many pregnancies progress much more easily than mine has, but this has been mine, all mine to experience and savor.

Important news just in: Jack will listen (through skin, muscle, & yes, some body fat) to his first UNC basketball game vs. Davidson today at 4pm PST...the loudest part will be his mother (aka #1 fan) shouting her commentary & cheers! This is just the beginning of a fierce sports bond between mother and son!

Hooray--34 Weeks Today!

Here's a picture of my feet...I don't think you can fully appreciate it but these are now my puffy painful feet. I had Mr. Tarheel rub them with lotion and while it felt good during the massage, afterwards, it was a painful, burning sensation for hours. I did buy some shoes that fit.........size 9 1/2 and I wore a size 7 1/2 before. Anyone that size need some almost new Merrill's when this is over? Mostly, I wear either nothing or some soft house shoes for comfort....I'm past worrying about fashion.

My cheering team is giving me new motivation to get ready for Jack. It takes forever to do anything when you can only do something for 5 minutes if it involves movement. Sometimes, I even get short of breath talking on the phone, while I'm sitting. I have to monitor myself for how much laughing that I'm doing. I can only laugh about 15% of the time! The crib & bassinet are up and the clothes are about half organized. Wow, a baby needs a lot of supplies! Today, we are going to work on Jack's closet. What that means, is I sit in a chair and tell Mr. Tarheel in excruciating detail where and how to do everything and he does it as long as he can possibly tolerate it. Then he distracts me by offering to cook our dinner. Cooking is his respite because we both know that he can cook far better than I can, so I'm not going to offer any directions, only thanks.

Only 3 weeks to term...for those marathoners out there, is this like the 24th mile of a marathon?

Men's Basketball Pre-season Poll: UNC #1 & Mr. Tarheel at Midnight

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/rankings?poll=1

Not Tarheel Born, but Tarheel Bred

Today, the most wonderful of surprises arrived from the bestest Tarheel friend a Tarheel could ever have. Wrapped in Tarheel paper, was the most thoughtful package of Tarheel love that Mr. Jack, future Tarheel, has received. Some of the contents included the softest, Carolina blue, hand-knitted baby blanket, handmade Tarheel 07 Jack burp clothes, a Tarheel hat, pacifier, & Tarheel pacifier lanyard, a Jack bib, and Jack's first soft infant Tarheel basketball! Tears of joy and sweet memories flooded my heart....Here's a picture of us about 20 years ago!

Some people are destined to be life-long friends, even if they meet because one is the most gregariously loud person who can talk to anyone, even if she doesn't know them (that would be me)! Back in college, when I was waiting in line to be a hospital volunteer & wearing an unforgettable sun-dress, I met my bestest friend Kristi. We would conquer nursing school together in most of the same classes and clinical groups. We had so many fun times together and she kept me out of some trouble, here & there. Despite time and distance, we can pick up where we left off and know we will always have the other's understanding. Wow, she's great!

She knows that Jack won't be Tarheel born, since his mother is the #1 Tarheel fan, he will definitely be Tarheel Bred!

Shower of Love

My baby shower turned out so wonderful and beautiful. My friends Alayne, Debbie, and Karen were the hostesses and had every detail planned out...and waited on me hand & foot....It was extra activity but I took extra labetalol and the highest BP was 160/90. I held it together because I was so busy talking (who, me?) and eating and opening presents and before I had much time to reflect, Mr. Tarheel came to pick me up & it was over. I received SO many beautiful presents, it's hard to believe. So many current & old friends came...thank you! It meant SO much...to have each and every person there and I am so grateful!

Today, it feels a little emotional to think about....how I got to this point & all those that helped me along my way. I, (ME), was the guest of honor, at a baby shower for ME! If I had known the journey, would I have had the perseverance to complete it? Maybe knowing would have made it easier, because it took SO long. Last year about this time, I made my first appointment to begin the process for the cycle. I remember that Mr. Tarheel & I had a conversation (one of thousands) about one of OUR 2 possible outcomes (have a baby or live child-free). I remember thinking & believing in US, whatever the outcome. I saw myself & us living happily with either outcome...it had taken so many years, but I had finally released the burden. Now, I don't think this caused the cycle to work....it's a gamble, a percentage thing. Donor egg IVF will work about 70% of the time presently. It's a roll of the dice....after so many losing rolls, our number came up & here we are. But it's good to know that I would have been OK either way. Don't get me wrong...I'm super excited to go down the path of motherhood, but I know that Mr. Tarheel & I could have been super excited too about the rest of their lives, living child-free.

Now back to the wonderful shower of love....each person there, at some point and/or for years & years had helped me "fight my battle in the trenches". Every person had taken the time (some hours/hours & some days/days), to help me process my journey of trying/loss/infertility. Boy, it lightened my load! I couldn't have done it alone...so to each of you....I thank you not only for the beautiful baby gifts, but even more for all the support over the years...listening, offering insight, redirecting me from my tangent thoughts, distracting me, and now being happy for me...You are the best!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Cautious Optimism

Today was another regular OB visit...another one with Dr. Megan, since Dr. Tracy is on vacation. We started with nurse Stacey and the non-stress test..monitoring the heart rate, looking for reactivity. Jack was passing with flying colors (especially after my apple juice) until nurse Stacey thought his heart rate dropped to the 80's. I thought it was my heart rate but Dr. Megan wanted to make sure, so we kept monitoring for a full hour and it never happened again. Nothing to worry about, they say. Now I can go back to my regular worries of global warming and who will win this weekend's NFL match-ups...

Dr. Megan is a good mix of humor and expertise....she checked out the amount of amniotic fluid and it's a little lower but still normal (in the normal range, but decreasing:). She said...you might make it to term (hopeful optimism).... & I started to laugh. Mr. Tarheel asked me, why are you laughing? I thought, I never in my wildest dreams actually believed that I would make it to term. I mentally prepared for the worst case scenario and it looks like it's not going to happen. I'm starting to feel more & more lucky (cautious optimism). Tomorrow is 33 weeks and this is the week on the outcome statistics that I have been waiting for....100% survival without severe sequela.

It's hard for me to believe that he's almost here. I have so much more to do...I don't have much stamina/energy to do much each day. We have to get the nursery ready...I don't have any diapers! I don't even know what kind to buy....I still have my goal of Dec 1---37 weeks....only 28 days to go.