Shower of Love

My baby shower turned out so wonderful and beautiful. My friends Alayne, Debbie, and Karen were the hostesses and had every detail planned out...and waited on me hand & foot....It was extra activity but I took extra labetalol and the highest BP was 160/90. I held it together because I was so busy talking (who, me?) and eating and opening presents and before I had much time to reflect, Mr. Tarheel came to pick me up & it was over. I received SO many beautiful presents, it's hard to believe. So many current & old friends came...thank you! It meant SO much...to have each and every person there and I am so grateful!

Today, it feels a little emotional to think about....how I got to this point & all those that helped me along my way. I, (ME), was the guest of honor, at a baby shower for ME! If I had known the journey, would I have had the perseverance to complete it? Maybe knowing would have made it easier, because it took SO long. Last year about this time, I made my first appointment to begin the process for the cycle. I remember that Mr. Tarheel & I had a conversation (one of thousands) about one of OUR 2 possible outcomes (have a baby or live child-free). I remember thinking & believing in US, whatever the outcome. I saw myself & us living happily with either outcome...it had taken so many years, but I had finally released the burden. Now, I don't think this caused the cycle to work....it's a gamble, a percentage thing. Donor egg IVF will work about 70% of the time presently. It's a roll of the dice....after so many losing rolls, our number came up & here we are. But it's good to know that I would have been OK either way. Don't get me wrong...I'm super excited to go down the path of motherhood, but I know that Mr. Tarheel & I could have been super excited too about the rest of their lives, living child-free.

Now back to the wonderful shower of love....each person there, at some point and/or for years & years had helped me "fight my battle in the trenches". Every person had taken the time (some hours/hours & some days/days), to help me process my journey of trying/loss/infertility. Boy, it lightened my load! I couldn't have done it alone...so to each of you....I thank you not only for the beautiful baby gifts, but even more for all the support over the years...listening, offering insight, redirecting me from my tangent thoughts, distracting me, and now being happy for me...You are the best!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!