The Last Hoorah

The early morning caffeine infusion is opening up my mind....it's still dark outside and after 6:00am. Fall has fallen here and the rain was turned on for a week. It was sunny & warm yesterday, and felt like spring again. The temperature felt like spring, but I didn't. A warm spring day here in the Northwest brings out the longing and desperation of Northwesterners who have tried to wait patiently for months for the warmth to return. Hopefully, they have taken a sunny, hot vacation as a teaser during the first few months of the year. So a warm fall day brings on a little anxiety because you know it is the last hoorah. Today is expected to be another warm, sunny one. A day to mow the newly growing green grass. The cows will be happy to eat it. As soon as the mower gets going, they all rush over to the fence and wait, occassionally bellowing, for their treat. No sunglasses for me. I'll let the warmth penetrate my eyes in anticipation for the long winter ahead.

Birthday Month in Full Swing

The weekend celebration involved me & Mr. Tarheel having a 3 hour dinner at El Gaucho's. This is the place where you are escorted to the ladies room. This is the second year here for me on my birthday....I sense a tradition forming....Last year, I had a quick thought after entering the ladies room...are they waiting outside for me to come out? But, alas, they weren't.

So we had the same waiter as last year, Houston, who remembered me because of my accent. He's from guess where? Texas! I'm almost to 10 years of having no anonymity here...do you know what it's like for 5-10 times a week for someone to ask you where you're from? I take the responsibility seriously to represent my Southern heritage in a positive manner, but it can get old.

OK, back to the celebration dinner....I took a hiatus from my boycott of French products and we had a delicious bottle of French wine....there's one problem, though. I can't tell you how much I drank. There's the wine waiter, who is constantly spying on your wine glass and when it's about a 1/3 full, comes over and refills your glass. I did notice that my glass was getting filled much more than Mr. Tarheel's glass....hence his job as DD.

The ChateauBriand for 2 was delicious and the chocolate dessert with a candle on top was sweet. The best thing was no one sang to me or clapped...it was just a simple...Happy Birthday. I made my wish quickly and went on to becoming so stuffed that I was nauseaous on the way home. Luckily, I didn't upchuck the most expensive dinner that I've ever had!

I had spent some time thinking over my wish. Now wishes are not something to make on the fly. Some time and energy needs to go into exactly what you are wishing for. I'm not superstitious, so you're probably imagining now that I am going to tell you what I did wish for. In the past, I've had several years where I wished for my own special baby. I know everyone's baby is special, but the MY OWN are the key words here for me. No, I didn't wish for that again. I decided not to limit it to one specific thing, to make it broad, so hopefully becoming a mother will be included. I wished for this year to be the happiest year of my life....a true belly laughing, fantastically joyous year! Now it will be hard to surpass 1991, the year Mr. Tarheel & I fell in love....but I think it's possible. I'll keep you updated:0)

More news...my friend Sandy is out of the hospital & getting her chemo as an outpatient. Go to www.sandyshaw.blogspot.com to offer your words of encouragement & support.

Now, Miss Grace did not do her uterine bungy jumping routine on my day....I won't hold it against her b/c everyone needs their own special day. She made her sweet Mama wait until 9/15/06 @ 0537 to head out, without pain medicine, into this world. So my new niece is still a Virgo, so we'll see if that holds any weight to her personality. Everyone is doing well and there's going to be alot of hammering with my craft hammer as I'm making her birth announcements....a topic for another day.

Only 40 days to UNC basketball season....but who's counting......

A New Beginning

There's a stillness over the early morning house. Mr. Tarheel and the big red dog are sleeping soundly, one underneath and one on top of the "cat-house" red duvey. The big moon is sinking. This is my favorite time of the day...early morning and my favorite activity is drinking my Sulawesi and looking out across the pasture. Today, marks the beginning of a new era....my 4th decade! Tonight, at precisely 1728 PST, I will turn 40. A milestone for me to celebrate & embrace. Dinner at El Gacho's, shopping, spending time with Mr. Tarheel. My life fits me like a beloved sweater...it feels just right, right now.

I just finished my 3 day work week, maybe I was wrong about work at home being more than work at work. Work at work isn't in my control, work at home is. It was a grab bag this week....reach in & see what you get. Sometimes I grabbed a irritating, frustrating experience (there's no pill for me to take for anger management), other times a beautiful, wonderful glimpse into the beginning of a new family. In 2 weeks, I will start doing some 24, no 25 hour shifts. Scarey, huh? Just a new opportunity for me to learn to pace myself.

For now, it's my beautiful 4 days off. The sun's up and the coffee cup is empty. Let the party begin!

Good morning, it's the last day of my week off. Today, is barn cleaning time. My first question was how clean does a barn need to be? My OCD nature wanted to pressure wash and scrub it with a 10% bleach solution. But then I realized, these cows, as much as I like them, aren't potty trained not to go in the barn. It's just a fact of nature. Mr. Tarheel is having allergic reactions when he goes in the barn, so I have Tim, a teenage helper coming to help me. He was the one who I paid high dollar to shovel out the waste. Best $ I've spent in a long time. Everything is dried out now and not too smelly. More about my cows...we have 6 "mama" cows, 6 calves (ages 4-5 months), 1 steer, and 1 heifer. We own a bull with 3 other friends and I named him "Big Red"...guess why...he's big and he's red! Not too original, huh? I have another reason...I grew up on a farm and my Dad had a bull named Big Red, so it meant alot to my Dad. The bull is a registered Red Angus and his ear tag has him identified as R13. Now say R13 three times outloud, fast. It sounds like "Arthur", doesn't it? So that's what the other owners call him. His official name on the papers is Feddes Vermillion R13, his dam (mother) was Feddes Blockana 231, his sire (father) was GMRA Vermillion 796....so that's more than you probably wanted to know about "Big Red". Well, Big Red has been acting a little strange this week...a little different. I have a feeling that all these mama cows are already pregnant (he's been visiting for at least 2 cycles now) and he is getting that restless feeling that celibate young men have....you understand? Hopefully, he won't break through the fence. I have no desire to chase him back home but since he cost about 4K, if he breaks out, you'll see me among the crowd, chasing him back home. It's back to work tomorrow and I have a feeling that I'll do less work at work than work at home. The list is almost complete except for barn cleaning and grocery buying and instead of nice little check marks beside everything, I took a sharpie and marked over & over each item....so each one was obliterated. See sometimes, OCD is a good thing!

A dog is a girl's best friend..XXOO

Well, today is the second day of my week off. My first goal was to make a list of the many things that I want to accomplish this week. So, I began my list with #1: make a list. So far it's the only thing on the list. I did get some things done, so now I won't feel as productive when I finish everything on my list, b/c the things that I did today won't be on the list. Or should I go ahead and put them on the list and then savor the satisfaction of marking them off the list? I did take my neighbor, Whitney, out to lunch today. She's 19 and struggles with the many difficulties associated with being a former 26 weeker back before surfactant. I looked through a scrapbook that she did of her early years...boy was she on lots of steriods and home O2 until she was over a year old. She has a shunt and had hydrocephalus. Now, she drives a car, goes to school, and wants a nice boyfriend, like most 19 year olds. But there's lots of evidence of what she's been through. Some is positive, some negative. I started thinking about how we each have evidence of what we've been through, both positive and negative. I'm focusing on the positive today... But you don't walk through fire without some scars. Sometimes you want to talk about the scars, sometimes you don't. But they're there, evident, a part of your being. I'll keep you updated on my week & my list! Tarheel88

Wow, a newbie creating a blog. Exciting, huh? Welcome and check in on my journey.