Here's Hibiscus Hawaiian Jack...it was such a beautiful flower, but I wanted to capture the size of the flower...look...it's as big as his head! The flowers and plants in Hawaii are so lush and beautiful...of course, most of them, I can't identify. Mr. Tarheel knew the name of this one...he's pretty smart about most things.
Yesterday was a first...there are so many, but this one was big for me. I left, yes, LEFT, Jack with a babysitter. Julia is her name and she is so good with Jack...I had her come over to our house before and get to know Jack and she was great with him. I had about 10 errands to do...in about 10 different stores. As big as Jack is, it's difficult & time-consuming getting him in and out of the car that many times (this is only the beginning of my justification, which comes before guilt). When I dropped him off, Heidi, Julia's Mom, immediately put me at ease. I knew he would be in good hands.
I didn't relax..I drove fast & furious to each place, ran in (no browsing), did my errand, and ran out. I looked at my watch every few minutes. I wondered what Jack was doing. I counted down the minutes since I had last seen him. I constantly checked my phone to make sure they hadn't called. When I arrived back to pick him up, after less than 4 hours, he was dozing and was content and happy. Heidi & Julia tell me how great it was to hold him & take care of him. Then I relax, pick him up, and he looks over at me with bright eyes. I see that I have not damaged my child...he doesn't have to be with me 24/7 to be well cared for and happy. More guilt...I want me to be the only person he wants....but I know that isn't healthy for either of us.
We're learning...
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