10/18/14

Some days are like any other day until you realize what happened on that date. This was the official day of the end of my marriage.  You have probably heard a similar story, about how "friends" became more, so much more. And of course, the other person was totally unaware.  Yes, that other person was me.

Part of Something Great

We all belong to different groups, some with more influence on our life than others.  Sometimes we are lucky enough to belong to one so special, so profoundly great, that we may wonder if we deserve such an honor.  There is such a group that I have the privilidge of belonging to—the nurse practitioners of Pediatric Medical Group in Seattle.

 

We all took various paths to get here but there are common themes in each of our journeys.  We love to take care of sick babies and we were good at it, so we decided we wanted to have more responsibility.  This involved going back to school for a master’s degree, and  completing many hours of clinical practice to learn advanced management and skills.  We are all smart,  some are downright brilliant, and we all have the quality of persistence.  When obstacles present themselves, we get busy finding a way around, over, or even blasting through it.  We have stamina and endurance to perform hour after hour (25 sometimes) and can appear well despite colds, trigger fingers, and even contractions.  We commiserate during breakfast about the calls, codes, and numbers.  We enjoy eating together because that means we can talk shop and the other person really “gets” it.  We know that are in this together.

 

We know we aren't perfect so we look for ways we can improve.  But as we strive to become even better, we know we are still great.  We are the A team, A for awesome!  I’m so grateful to walk along side these women.  I appreciate each of their contributions in the care of each baby and each other to make the world a better place.  I am better because of them--thank you!

Happy Birthday Jack!

Hello Jack!

 

There are some dates that you will never forget.

 

4/21/99

3/31/00

1/27/01

8/8/01

 

These are the dates of our losses.

 

 

The story doesn't end here in the valley.  There was the mountain of infertility to climb, one foot in front of the other.  It was a long, arduous journey.  But there is a happy ending.

 

12/3/07

 

Jack was born--we became parents!

 

 

Happy Birthday to our 6 year old!



Riley & Jack

Jack has a great friend named Riley!  They play together well.  She's only a week older and have played t-ball & soccer together.  It's awesome to see how Jack acts around a peer.  The things he says make me smile.  She is an only child too & they practice working things out.  Friends are great & her Mom Ginger & I are good friends too :)

The Brown Park

We've named all the parks based on color---so one of our most favorites is called the brown park (not surprisingly, the play equipment is brown!).  The real name is Pete's Pool, even though, there's not a pool there anymore.  But there is a neat play structure, a huge log activity center, an artificial turf football field, baseball field, lots of tall evergreens with a short walk toward the Enumclaw golf course.  Rumor has it that this area was used by Gary Ridgeway for a "dumping" site, but that's another story.  

We've spent many hours there when Jack was younger and as he's gotten older, we go there less often.  Recently when we were out & about, Jack asked to go to the brown park and we did.  We are usually alone there, he & I.  I'm not so fun to play with anymore, but I try, oh so hard.  We watched a high school girl's soccer practice on the field.  Jack threw back a loose ball.  We went on our "hike" toward the golf course.  Jack told me, "just wait here Mom, & watch me."....OK Jack, I was thinking, you need some alone time.  Then as I looked at him, I knew I had it wrong...he has too much alone time.  Poor only kid!  Anyway, it's getting pretty difficult to get a great picture of Jack...but I was able to!

Fall Sunshine at the brown park, aka Pete's Pool

For Halloween, Jack was a vampire.  I tried & tried to talk him out of it...not sure why.  Look, he's an awesome vampire:)

Count Jackula!

Northwest Fall

Pumpkin Patch Fun

Corn Box Smile

Corn Maze Frolic

We're having some of the best fall times ever here around the Myers' homestead.  Jack is into decorating for each holiday and chooses decorations as sticker chart prizes.  He wants to give a party for each holiday.  Jack is in kindergarten and loves reading Bob books.  He read (a post-call 24 hour shift) Mama to sleep for the first time!

On a dry fall day, we made our annual trip to the Thommason Family Farm Pumpkin Patch.  It's obvious that now Jack doesn't have as much fun with his parents as a friend to pal around with.  He was RUNNING through the corn maze and called us "slow pokes" --in fun, of course.  Me, with my coffee, had no intention of running anywhere.  We love making memories with our boy!

Birthday Month Bye-Bye

So my birthday month ended without much ado and October started with a windy, rainy storm.  I know there's a reason why this Evergreen state isn't more populated...the TERRIBLE weather.  I try not to let it bother me too much, but every now & then, it does.  I'm sure I'll feel better when I get to warm & sunny NC next week.  Yes, in one week, I'll be hugging & kissing my parents, sisters, & nieces & nephews.  Boy, I've missed them.

I'm trying to remember some of my gifts...there were some gift cards mailed, a bag of bread, peanut butter, jelly, & bananas to a woman holding a sign, "anything helps" near the grocery store, & a Starbucks gift card to a volunteer photographer who comes in to take professional photos of deceased babies.  I also gave some intangibles--smiles, a listening ear, a word of encouragement, a few extra notes done for my oncoming coworker...I think my gifting ideas were just the beginning of a new philosophy in my eyes.  I want to be able to look around my circle and really see the needs of others.  I know I can make a difference---in other's lives and inside my own!

Gift ???

Cowboy Jack, Doing the Puyallup (fair)

Oh no, the days are running together and I haven't kept up with my gifts.  I am trying to be aware of needs around me and go out of my way to try to meet some need each day.  Sometimes, it's time.  I take time to listen more (actively, you know when you are not thinking of anything else but what the person is saying).  Sometimes, it's a gesture...putting a pacifier back into a crying baby's mouth, silence an alarm, extra words of encouragement, eye to eye contact with a smile...

Last weekend, I gave Jack a gift.  It was the gift of complete kid directed fun.  It's a Mom & son activity to go to the state fair every year.  We have tried to "be nice" & include others but since we like to do our own thing, it's better if it's just us two.  This time, I let Jack decide what we were going to do.  He is between little kid rides & big kid rides now.  He wanted to swing on the big swing...he was tall enough, so we did.  I reviewed mandatory Mom safety information first and swallowed a lump & away we went.  I sat behind him & videoed.  He had the biggest smile on his face! 

For the past 2 years, he has done the Mutton bustin'....riding a sheep, like bull and of course, falling off after a few seconds.  I REALLY wanted him to do it but he did not.  I did ask twice and when he said no the second time, I let it go.  Wow, that was a victory on my part.

When I asked him what he wanted for dinner, he said an elephant ear.  Wow, an elephant ear?  Not a hot dog first, then an elephant ear?  So, what the heck, like Aunt Kat said, "eat dessert first"...so he did.  He smiled alot during that one too.  Disclaimer:  he ate a proper dinner later in the evening, at home:)

I let him decide which animals, how long to stay at each site, which games to play (WAC a Mole was his favorite) and I didn't try to dissuade him from doing anything he wanted to do....that is, until we ran out of money.  I did have to put some sort of boundary on our adventure and I was VERY generous, but alas, the money ran out pretty fast.  Let's just walk around, he said.  So we did...we walked & looked and had the best time.  Peas & carrots...that's me & him!

Gift 12-- Random Act of Kindness

Oh no, my postings aren't going to be in order...don't worry... The gifts were in order & yesterday was 9/11 & a work day.  You'll have to hold your breath & turn blue!!

Today, there wasn't much time to think about giving.  I know there will be those kind of days.  So today, I paid the bill for the car behind me at Starbucks.  Free coffee improves most people's day.  Hopefully, they will pay it forward:)

Gift 10--Friendship

Friendship will blossom if it's tended!  

A very smart 90 year old man, Chris' grandpa Jack C. Fletcher came to visit us in WA years ago.  It was his first flight, yes, in his life.  The pilot was so impressed that he announced it was his first flight, at age 90, & all the passengers clapped.  He proudly wore the wing pin gift.   I, being the worrier, felt empathy that he didn't have any friends (left).  I asked him about it.  He said they were all gone & it was OK with him.  I now know what he meant--- it's harder to make friends as you grow older.  

I have a new friend, Ginger.  She has a daughter, Riley, who is a week older than Jack.  We have a lot in common & our time together is fun for us & the kids.  We went on a hike together on one of the last hot days---here's Jack & Riley with Mt Rainier in the background. Fun times!

Jack & Riley

Gift 9--Advocacy

Finding a way out of a wet paper sack can be tough at certain times in your life.  Sometimes you don't even know you're in a wet paper sack.  Today, my gift was advocacy.  I heard a need, through tears.  I knew what to do, I knew how to do it, & nothing was going to stop me.  I researched, identified, questioned, removed barriers, summarized, & motivated.  Yes, one of my special someones was in a wet paper sack.  Now, at least they are out of that one:)

Gift 8--Lifelong Learner

Maybe this won't be part 2 after all.  But I will put in a snippet.  Driving home on my birthday, I received a call from my dear Aunt Linda.  Now, she was my Mom's 15 year old sister when I was born.  She loves to talk about the good old days when I was her baby doll!  She's a very special lady in so ways.  It is legend that when one of her home health care patients died, she found out that he didn't have any proper burial clothes.  So she went home to get one of her ex-husbands suits.  Her laugh could be marketed as a treatment for depression!  I love her.

So, now we are up to gift 8.  My Mom has taken up golf, so I ordered her a sand wedge.  It took some background work of asking my good friend Karen to ask her Dad about the right degree angle for a beginner.  My Mom has kept herself learning a variety of new things over the years & even taking classes in many of them.  She has done karate (once giving my Dad a black eye in class), clowning (yes, becoming a clown), crocheting, & now golfing.   One of the many reasons why I love her-- she's awesome!

Gift 7--Me:)

On my actual birthday, the 7th, I worked a short shift.  A short shift is 10 hours.  I know that sounds funny, but the long shifts are 25.  A short shift means no matter what happens, you will be home to sleep in your bed that night.  I smile on my way into short shifts.

I took my own cake to share with everyone.  About 4pm, we have hot tea (high tea, it's called when you are so close to Canada).  We usually have treats of some sort and everyone brings something every now and again & it usually works out that we have something every day.  I brought a red velvet cake from Costco.  So no, I didn't assemble my own cake:)

Some of my friends had gone & got a card & had everyone sign it.  Plus they gave me flowers and a mini bottle of Jack Daniels.  It was very sweet and made me feel special.  Shout out to KVW (she will know, if she ever reads this) that it was SO nice.

I came home and opened my presents, with Jack's help of course.  Chris & Jack had gone shopping while I was at work and presented me with a bag full of Vera Bradley---it was an entire ensemble.  But, I had to ask forgiveness (from Chris, not Jack) for lying that I liked it.  I like Vera Bradley, but I wanted a different type of a purse and a different design.  Jack picked this one out "because it had Carolina blue" in it.  But it looks like a spring pattern and I wanted something fall/winter-ish.

There's so much more to talk about, but those of you who know me well, know that I struggle with flight of ideas.  I can talk about multiple topics, interspersed in the same conversation.  So now, I've moved on in my mind to the day that I was born.  I want to have my Mom tell me more about that day but I know that she was 19 years old & my Dad was in Vietnam on an aircraft carrier.  She was living with her parents, brother, & sister at the time.  I had so many people who loved me & boy, did I feel loved growing up!

More to come in part 2!

Gift 5 & 6: Looking Around

I'm starting to notice ways to give.  I think I noticed some of these before, I just didn't act on it enough of the time.  I saw a quote today by Dolvett Quince, a trainer on the Biggest Loser. 

"I lay down in bed, and I think and I plan, then I get down on my knees and I pray, then I stand up and act, walk out the door, & make it happen."

Gift 5  I took time to do a survey on public transportation and in return, received 8 bus tickets.  I left them for my neighbor in the mailbox with a note---hope you can use these.  I see her walking down the road to catch the bus at least a couple times a week.  Now, I will smile a little bigger when I drive by her:)

Gift 6  There is someone in my life who I love very much but having healthy boundaries causes me to have to resist most monetary gifts.  I had recently ordered something in the mail and decided---I really don't want this.  Today, I was going to mail it back for a credit, but found out that I couldn't return it.  It turns out that it is the perfect size for my someone.  I mailed it today, along with some other goodies to make it a special day when it arrives next week.

Tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY---47 years old!  I can't believe it but I feel blessed & honored to keep living.  I bought a cake (red velvet) today and I'm going to "take my own cake" tomorrow to share with everyone at work.  I made up a rhyme:  Teresa's 47 & closer to heaven!

Gift 4 Undivided Attention

August, 2013 at Cape Disappointment, WA

Jack & Mom

Since I've been at work more than usual, Jack has noticed and has cried for me when I wasn't home.  Last night, he called out for Chris, asking him if I was home.  I was!  Then he said, "little boys need their Mamas"...so I went into his room and held & rocked him until he went back to sleep.  I was SO tired, but I know these moments are so precious and very soon, he will want to avoid me.  So over my 2 days off, I'm going to concentrate on giving him as much of my undivided attention as possible.  I love, love, love this boy!

Gift 3 Handmade Hat

I've tried some crafts and sometimes, I'm average.  Sometimes, I'm down right terrible but I can laugh at myself.  When Mom came for her summer visit, she taught me to make crochet hats using a loom.  Now, my toughest dilemma--stitch spacing, is now no problem  When crotcheting, if there is not consistent tension on the yarn, some stitches will be closer together or farther apart and it doesn't turn out even.  The loom is Teresa proof!  All the stitches are even and voila! 

Since I work with babies, I like to give a hat to those special, special ones.  Sometimes, the reason is only that the baby's name is Jack.  Other times, it's because I've seen the mother struggle and I want to offer something tangible that represents hope.  It's always appreciated and gives me a strong connection.  I've finished another hat and since it's a work day, I'm going to take it in to give away:)

Epilogue:  There were special twins born today, Hope & Faith.  Hope slipped away after 30 minutes, despite our best efforts.  Faith is doing well.  Their Mom was so sick, I didn't get to talk to her yet.  But I'm going to give her the hat for Faith when I go back to work. 

Gift 2  Hospitality

Today is labor day & I am so excited to be off work!  We are having Chris' parents, Aunt Joan, & cousins Cindy & Amy (Cindy's daughter) over for dinner.  Joan, Cindy, & Amy live in eastern WA but we haven't seen them very often in the last year.  Aunt Joan is Chris' Mom's sister and they had a very special bond since growing up in CA but haven't lived very close together in miles for the last 50 years!

Sometimes, our twilight years turn out differently than we were hoping.  Aunt Joan's beloved husband, Uncle Scotty, passed away a few years ago and now she has progressive memory problems.  But love is love, whether you remember all the details or not.  And boy, do Loretta & Joan love each other!

I've decided to take a supportive role during the visit.  Not a Martha Stewart role because, as usual, Chris will be doing his regular--cooking an awesome dinner.  I'll be the dishwasher, drinkfetcher, Jack entertainer, and keep an open eye for anything else that's needed.  Yes, today, my gift will be quiet hospitality.  Well maybe not so quiet--I love to talk!

Sister love---Joan & Loretta

Birthday Month in Full Swing

Although fall is in the air, I'm going to try to squeeze as much warm, summer fun in as possible.  As possible, that is, for someone working 50 hours a week (another story line)....so here goes....

I like to celebrate my birthday for a month!  That's right...all month, during my birthday month--September, I like to choose which restaurants to go to, which movies to watch, etc, etc...so that it is not just a one day celebration...but all month long.  My actual birthday is September 7, at 8:39 pm (year to be disclosed at a later time)....but it's so FUN to celebrate it for more than one day.

So a few weeks ago, I started daydreaming about all the different ways that I wanted to celebrate.  Of course, I thought about receiving a new purse, horseback riding lessons, an Eagles concert, a pampering spa day, a bouquet of dahlias, a pair of riding boots, a back & foot rub, and a special dinner out (so here are your ideas, dear hubby)....but my next thought was....Giving.

At heart, I do think that I am below average in selfishness, but really!  There are so many opportunities in each of my days to give to others and many times, I decide not to act.  Inherently, it goes on that perpetually lengthening "I'll get to it one day" list...  So I decided to GIVE during my birthday month...at least 30 "gifts" this month!  Now, a rich uncle didn't die, but I've been greatly blessed by having an awesome job that pays well.  So some of the gifts will be financial, but I'm thinking so much bigger than this...giving gifts in other tangiable and random acts of kindnesses. 

Of course, I won't be able to blog every day...but I'll keep a record of each gift and give enough information for you to understand how it came to pass.  I'm ready to see how this opens my eyes for opportunities to recognize the needs of others and how, I know, it will change me too.

Gift 1
It's a Sunday morning and I've just finished my 75 hour work week.  I'm driving home and actually, feel pretty rested, considering.  See, I actually didn't work 75 hours, but because most of my shifts are 24 hours, I "get paid" to sleep a few of my work hours.  My drive is the scenic route, which for me, means, no freeway driving.  I make it a point to notice the forest as I drive by.  I anticipate seeing an animal--hopefully a deer and not an immobile skunk!  No animals were out, however.  That's OK, anticipation is my gift to myself today.  There's excitement in the air when I arrive home.  We are going out for family day.  Free time, yippee!  The boys, Chris & Jack, first ask to go to Cabela's.  My first reaction is NO, NO, NO.  It is a store filled with testosterone supporting, expensive toys.  I initially give my first reaction---NO, NO, NO.  Then I reconsider---my gift today will be CHOICE.  So I exhale, & decide to say---whatever you guys would like to do.  After some family discussion, the plans change to our special Chinese restaurant, a visit to the part, & a favorite cup of Peet's coffee. 

Nannie & Jack (6/13)

Jack & Nannie proud of their African habitat....fun, fun, fun

Love, love, love

Nannie has to hold Jack in place for a picture at Deep Lake

 

Two weeks of wonderful times, making memories, loving each other.  It's never long enough...Love, love, love that Mom of mine!  Love, love, love seeing her loving on Jack.  Using my favorite coping mechanism--denial, to suppress the pain of living so far away.  We'll be going to see everyone on October 10--can't wait for more great times!

Long Lost Blogger, Found

Thanks to Nannie for making a new hat & scarf!  She even taught me a little of the "loom"!

We went to Deep Lake for fun walks!

Close up Kind of Love

So, this mostly neglected blog has been on my mind lately.  I'm always putting other things first, especially my sleep.  But in some quiet reflection time recently, it popped up again in my top ten things to get doing.  Yes, I know, get doing, isn't proper English.  I think less & less in Southern, but that's a hold out.  Another one is "carry me to the store" instead of take me..he, he.

I'm not going to try to "catch up" because that feels way too overwhelming.  I will put in some things from the past year.  So without further delay.....drum roll......here's some thoughts....

My Mom came for a 2 week visit in June (it's never long enough) and as usual, we had an awesome time.  I keep telling her that we could wind up in assisted living together!  We talked, did some sightseeing, cooked some special dishes, walked & talked (at the same time), & generally hung out together.  Jack had so much fun with his Nannie.  It's great to have her visit us in our environment and see all that our life involves.  When we go back to NC, we are on vacation, which a little different pace.  Mom taught me to use a loom to crotchet and she made a green and white hat for Jack & Chris & I'm (almost) done with mine.  I promise, before winter, I'll be done & we're going to have a really funny family picture in our matching hats.

Wow, that woman...she's a rock.  Sometimes, I wonder how she took care of four kids, went to nursing school, worked on a farm, and still had lots of fun!  She says it's because she was young (so is that my excuse?).  I think part of it was she was as strong as she had to be & that's pretty strong.  I so, so, so, love her.  If I'm ever at a loss as to how to be a good mother to Jack, I think of her example and emulate her.  So one day, he'll think of my example and smile!